“There’s no such thing as the Gruffalo” he said.
But Lego dad had been wrong before.
I’m sure you’ve noticed, but we’re slowly moving into Christmas. That time of year when we all run around finding presents for each other. Some people are easy to buy for… if you dont have kids, buying Christmas presents for kids can be difficult. Are you looking for Christmas present ideas for kids? If you are, this is the list for you! Be warned, the parents involved might hate you if you get any of these…
(As a side note… If any of the “uncles” happen to read this blog post – DONT THINK OF IT!!!)
Here is the Dads Sofa list of Christmas present ideas for kids – when you hate parents….
You can play catch!
For the ultimate noise and destruction check out the Screaming Monkey from Amazon!
A Singing Peppa Pig.
Question. Which parent doesn’t want an oversized singing peppa pig toy in their house?
Answer. NONE. And they dont want you to find it here either.
Work THAT ENERGY OUT!
Know a kid with lots of energy?
Does that kid have untapped musical talent?
Help the kids parents unleash that talent by getting this from Amazon…
Encourage The Dalek
Are you shopping for a little dalek?
The Dad a fan of Doctor Who?
Happy with forcing kids to confront nightmares?
Get them something for their bedroom….
Because who doesn’t like a giant teddy that the parents don’t have room for?
I’m sure there are many worse ideas out there. Have you got any?
Warning. If you buy a kid any of the above, and NOT check with the parent first. You deserve to be woken up with the said toy for the next month. (Uncles – this also means you!)
This post contains affiliate links.
*** Trigger Warning – Some details some people may find gross ****
There we are, relaxing on the grass when Daddy somehow becomes a climbing frame.
The photo shows what came out of my nostril…
This made me wonder what other accidents parents could possibly have. (But are so stupid no one speaks of it)
- Falling over a hoola hoop, through your back door, and onto the concrete paving outside.
- That sodding plastic tea pot on the floor… Which you still haven’t picked up since you last stepped on it.
- Picking up the Little One… Putting them down… Picking them up…. Putting them down… Back gives out….
- Skate board. Stairs.
- Accidentally riding a scooter in a supermarket checkout aisle.
- Accidental Asthma attack, brought on by trying to keep up with Little One on her bike.
- After waving your arms around in a mad attempt to ensure your little one doesn’t fall off the church pew, you accidentally hit an innocent bystander… who in turn, hits you.
- Chasing after the little one as she runs under a tree branch. Except you forget to duck under the branch.
Any other ideas?
Me: What would you like to eat Darling? Some Carrot?
Toddler: Yes please.
Me: So you want Toast?
Toddler: No Thanks.
Me: … #CryingInsideALittle
It seems that if you’re together with someone for more then two seconds then particular people start asking about when to expect wedding bells and / or the sound of tiny feet? Then you have a kid…. and they then ask when you’re having another one.
Its almost as if people are telling you to hurry up and populate the earth*.
If you’re being asked when you are having another kid, please feel free to use one of the following reasons why you dont want another kid (or at least not yet).
- If we have another… That means more child care is needed when we’re at work. Are YOU offering???
- My house insurance won’t cover the increased chance of possible damage.
- My counsellor suggests I should keep the baby making thing as slow as possible.
- I’ve not yet learnt how to entertain the kid / kids I have in Church.
- I can’t run the risk of having more children then I do hands.
- I’ll need to find more time to spend with them!
- I struggle to avoid being out-smarted by one of them. Any more I worry they may gang together and rule the world.
- I might have TWINS!!
- My peace keeper negotiation skills are not yet at a place to deal with my current child allowance. I’m sure I’ll need to be ok negotiating with terrorists / organ players / Torys, before I’m comfortable negotiating with my current kids, AND future ones!
Any other things to say that you can think of?
*There were less polite ways of writing that sentence
(After being “keen” to use her teeth yet again this afternoon)
Mummy: “Why are you using your teeth lots? Can you tell me?”
“Can you use your words to say why?”
Little One: “Why?”
After seeing our toddler react in entirely the opposite way to what she asked earlier, I wondered if she just heard the exact opposite of what we say. Heres a collection of other things that toddlers may hear differently to what was said.
It looks like a Devon parent has found a new way that toilet training can go wrong.
According to theexeterdaily.co.uk:
Devon firefighters had an unusal emergency call out – to a toddler with a trainer toilet seat stuck on his head.
One fire appliance from Ottery St Mary was sent to Brackendown, West Hill, Ottery at 8.17pm tonight (Saturday) to deal with the incident.
The fire crew were able to remove the toilet seat from the child’s head. The child was uninjured.
If anyone was to write a book entitled: “Potty Training. How Bad Can It Be?”, this little tale may have to be included.