Great Christmas Present Ideas For Kids, When You Hate The Parents

I’m sure you’ve noticed, but we’re slowly moving into Christmas. That time of year when we all run around finding presents for each other. Some people are easy to buy for… if you dont have kids, buying Christmas presents for kids can be difficult.  Are you looking for Christmas present ideas for kids? If you are, this is the list for you! Be warned, the parents involved might hate you if you get any of these…

(As a side note… If any of the “uncles” happen to read this blog post – DONT THINK OF IT!!!)

Here is the Dads Sofa list of Christmas present ideas for kids – when you hate parents….

Monkey Present?

Great Christmas Present Ideas For Kids, When You Hate The ParentsIts a monkey.

You can play catch!

It screams!

For the ultimate noise and destruction check out the Screaming Monkey from Amazon!

A Singing Peppa Pig.

Great Christmas Present Ideas For Kids, When You Hate The Parents

Question. Which parent doesn’t want an oversized singing peppa pig toy in their house?

Answer. NONE. And they dont want you to find it here either.

Work THAT ENERGY OUT!

Know a kid with lots of energy?

Does that kid have untapped musical talent?

Help the kids parents unleash that talent by getting this from Amazon

Great Christmas Present Ideas For Kids, When You Hate The Parents

Encourage The Dalek

Are you shopping for a little dalek?

The Dad a fan of Doctor Who?

Happy with forcing kids to confront nightmares?

Get them something for their bedroom….

Great Christmas Present Ideas For Kids, When You Hate The Parents

Found at Amazon.

Encourage Cuddles

Because who doesn’t like a giant teddy that the parents don’t have room for?

Great Christmas Present Ideas For Kids, When You Hate The Parents

Find this cuddle monster here. 

 

I’m sure there are many worse ideas out there. Have you got any?

Warning. If you buy a kid any of the above, and NOT check with the parent first. You deserve to be woken up with the said toy for the next month. (Uncles – this also means you!)

This post contains affiliate links.

Things Parents Say

One day, your life involves being able to leave the house in under 30 minutes. You have kids, and then your life involves poo, never leaving the house on time, and saying some random sleep deprived sounding thing about rabbit heads,,,

Here’s some of what we’ve caught ourselves saying recently:

  1. No one learns to walk in a cup do they?
  2. Babies don’t need fish to suck on.
  3. Don’t hit Daddy with a malt loaf!
  4. Go put the fish head back on.
  5. Please dont draw on the baby.
  6. Babies don’t eat sausages at bed time
  7. I saw a rabbit head the other day…
  8. Don’t drop Jesus!
  9. I’m fairly certain Growns Ups at Preschool don’t wear their coats upside down.
  10. A vest is not a helmet! (Seriously, how are you meant to argue that?)

Have you said anything particularly weird to your Little One recently?

Problems Parents of Toddlers Face in Church

We all have times when sitting through a Church service isn’t straightforward. It could be because of that curry you had last night, the contact lens not behaving, or just wanting to get home in time to watch the football.

If you’re a parent of a toddler / other little person, then there are other problems in Church that makes a Church service not straightforward. Here is a look at the problems that parents of toddlers face in Church:

  1. The ability to partake in communion is held hostage by a toddler stealing the liturgy card.
  2. You have a minor panic attack every time your little one wonders near the open and full baptism pool.
  3. Can I have some of that squash?” “No dear, its communion wine.”
  4. Hitting a chair, in an attempt to ensure your little one doesn’t fall off, while she is jumping on it.
  5. The heart racing panic when the Little One shouts, “I need a POO!.. QUICK ITS COMING OUT!
  6. Been massively distracted anytime someone comes into the hall during the sermon – just in case its someone from your kids group.
  7. Having to explain everytime its a communion service that you cant eat the bread from the table until the right time.
  8. No you can’t see the song sheet. It’s being used for colouring in.
  9. A time of silent prayer is anything but silent inside your head, as you count down the seconds until something gets shouted. (Normally a cry of “BOOOO!”)
  10. Accidentally looking super spiritual by kneeling on the floor during communion. (Because toddler has stolen your seat)

Any other problems I’ve not mentioned?

“Fun” with Soapy Foam from Bathtime Bubbles

Soapy Foam, for those who haven’t come across it yet, is a shaving foam like soap, which I guess is there to make bathtimes fun for little ones. So… we were using Soapy Foam from Bathtime Bubbles and… well… it seemed to keep going…

As the Soapy Foam seemed to have a life its own, we decided to avoid engulfing the little one in soap, and put it in the sink instead…

And it kept going….

After the little one came out of the bath, we figured we were running out of space in the sink so put it back in the bath. At that point, things became weird…

… but thankfully began to stop.

If you’d like a random bathtime experience, you can buy these from your local Sainsburys… I just wish I saw these reviews from their website before we brought it.

Devon Toddlers Toilet Seat Training

Parenting ideas are a strange thing, there are some parenting ideas that seem to last for ever, others seem to be fashionable for a while. One particular fashionable idea seems to be how to toilet train toddlers. After reports of one toddler getting his head stuck in a toilet seat, it seems to have happened again in Exmouth, Devon.

According to The Express and Echo:

Exmouth fire crews came to the rescue of a three-year-old boy who got a toilet training seat stuck on his head this morning.

One fire engine was called out to Richards Close in Exmouth at 11:21am and released the child by cutting through the plastic seat with snippers.

The firefighters said the little boy, who had managed to ram the loo seat down past his ears, was a bit “perturbed” when they got there but was fine as soon as it was removed.

“Perturbed”, that means, “gently upset”, right?

Seen this story before? It last happened in East Devon only about a month ago…

It’s Started. (The Battle of Why)

A conversation from earlier…

me: “Come on, let’s get something on your legs”
Little One: “Why?”
me: “Because I don’t want you to get cold.”
Little One: “Why?”
me: *sigh*

It doesn’t look like she is in full flow yet, but we are getting prepared for every little thing being questioned, with the occasional conversation turning into something like a pub quiz for the insane. For example, I can imagine her asking “Why is it raining?”

Though I guess smart phones make things like this easier then it used to be,  because lets face it. Most answers in life are now a google away.

Its just a matter of putting it in a way a two year old can understand.