Dangers Parents Face When Bringing A Child To Church

Congratulations. You have managed to make it to Church.

Actually hang on, you’ve managed to get to Church and not forget any family members on route. Massive Congratulations on not losing anyone.

Now, if your group includes a child, you need to remember – there are certain dangers you need to look out for when you take a child to Church.

  1. Being late, and having to contend with a church warden / steward “encouraging” you and your wiggly toddler to the front of the Church… whilst there are safer seats (and space to run at the back).
  2. Vicar: “Now lets take a moment of silent prayer”. Little One: “I NEED A POO!!!”.
  3. Formally breast fed toddlers getting jealous of the sight of a really little one getting breast fed… and running over to get a quick meal.
  4. The kid getting confused between a potty and the baptismal font.
  5. Is it your turn on the preaching rota? This will be the Sunday when your kid demands to play trains…with you… during the sermon.
  6. Has your toddler ever took their nappy off by themselves? THIS could be when they work it out!
  7. Toddler. Tantrums. Could be anytime?
  8. Your child refuses to be in their group (koala effect), but is too unsettled to be quiet enough for you to take them into the main service, hence you are stuck in the corridor limbo.

Any more you’ve come across?

Hide away the TV. The Teletubbies are returning.

Run. Hide away the TV. The Teletubbies are returning.

According to Mashable:

Just as we were recovering from that horrifying video of the Teletubbies in black-and-white, the sinister foursome are back again, with Jim Broadbent as a talking trumpet and Absolutely Fabulous’ Jane Horrocks as the “tubby phone.”

The actors are set to be joined by Radio 1 DJ Fearne Cotton when Tinky-Winky, Dipsy, Laa-Laa and Po return to BBC program CBeebies later this year.

The rebooted version of the show will stay true to its original run, which saw around a billion children in 120 countries tune in between 1997 and 2001, with the same characters and style but “a refreshed and contemporary look,” according to producers.

Cant CBeebies just give us more “In The Night Garden”? Isn’t that basically a less annoying version of Teletubbies?

A Pink or Blue Kinder Egg?

Ever since Kinder Eggs launched “gender specific” eggs (other wise known as the pink and blue ones), there has been the occasional comment on places like Twitter, that this is another example of gender stereotyping toys. This is part of an argument that says that it should be ok for boys to wear pink, and for girls to play soldiers., or to put it basically – that kids should be allowed to play with whatever they want.

When I first saw the Blue / Pink Kinder Eggs, I did wonder what our daughter would pick. Over the weekend, I finally got a chance to experiment.:

Conclusions? Maybe Kinder are onto something with the boy / girlie kinder egg thing? Also the fairy in the girlie egg seemed far cooler then the Avengers thing in the boys Kinder Egg.

Wifes edit: both toys however have made the cut – aka are being played with in the toy cottage. The Avengers toy requires a second one to really be played with in the way shown in the instructions. I did however glue together the fairy, as our daughter is under 3, so for safety and getting annoyed with repeatedly putting the wings back on again!

This is my first video blog thing… please be nice! 

The Terror of Kids TV

What if kids TV were horror stories?

teletubbies1So this little picture was doing the rounds around Twitter the other day.

The sight of the Teletubbies walking over Teletubby land in black and white, presents a former kids favourite as a sinister horror show, making us all question our memories of that brightly coloured TV show.

It also made me question, what do todays kids TV shows look like in black and white?

Below shows the slightly horrific answer…

 

Bing Bunny and his friends are coming for you…

Beware The Tombliboos

The Friendly Engine?

AHHHHHH!!!! The Butterfly has Tim, from Topsy and Tim

The Horror of “Sarah and Duck”

Dont worry kids… these things are only watching you…

Go To Sleep Kids… Or James McAvoy will ensure The Teddy doesn’t see the end of “BedTime Hour”

Any other Kids TV horrors out there?

Missing. One Bing Bunny.

Dear CBeebies,

We seem to be missing a Bing Bunny.

He was last seen on the CBeebies Playtime app, but seems to have been eaten by some dog thing.

Please return him to us, either where he was last seen, or in a whole new game / app.

Yes I would pay any ransom to get him back.

Many Thanks.

Parents of Bing Fans.

Mommy, Why is There a Server in the House?

Mommy, Why is There a Server in the House?One for the tech people out there… a kids book called “Mommy, Why is There a Server in the House? ”

It looks like “Mommy, Why is There a Server in the House?” is available from Amazon

The book is read in the video above… and its as interesting as you think…

Devon Toddlers Toilet Seat Training

Parenting ideas are a strange thing, there are some parenting ideas that seem to last for ever, others seem to be fashionable for a while. One particular fashionable idea seems to be how to toilet train toddlers. After reports of one toddler getting his head stuck in a toilet seat, it seems to have happened again in Exmouth, Devon.

According to The Express and Echo:

Exmouth fire crews came to the rescue of a three-year-old boy who got a toilet training seat stuck on his head this morning.

One fire engine was called out to Richards Close in Exmouth at 11:21am and released the child by cutting through the plastic seat with snippers.

The firefighters said the little boy, who had managed to ram the loo seat down past his ears, was a bit “perturbed” when they got there but was fine as soon as it was removed.

“Perturbed”, that means, “gently upset”, right?

Seen this story before? It last happened in East Devon only about a month ago…

The Many Ways Toddlers Dont Sleep

Sometimes, well, alot of the time, the toddler doesn’t seem to like going to sleep. Now dont get me wrong, once she is asleep, the toddler seems to enjoy being asleep. Its the stages before bed that seem to be a struggle, she knows whats coming, and its like she has a mental list of things to try in order to avoid going to bed.

I wondered what would be on a list of ways for Toddlers to avoid sleep.

1. Ask for one more Bing.
2. If the answer is not a yes, ask the other parent after giving them a big hug.
3. Play some trains.
4. Ask to read a book. They’re meant to say yes to that.
5. Ask for more food. (Fear that you’ll wake up hungry will motivate them to say yes)
6. Play “hide”
7. Talk about poo.
8. Ask for some Sarah and Duck.
9. Say Please.
10. Give everyone a really big hug.
11. Play with cool batman toys.
12. Try out that new word you’ve been working on.
13. Ask for more Bing (say Please this time)
14. Demand to be the one that turns of the TV.
15. Offer to clean up your toys.
16. Try getting food from the kitchen.
17. Insist on counting all the step, loose count, return to the bottom, try again.
18. When your half way up the stairs, demand to be carried up the stairs… from the bottom.
19. Play hide and seek amongst the upstairs rooms.
20. Want two separate tooth brushes to clean your teeth with.
21. Play hide and seek with the other parent.
22. Encourage parents to play hide and seek with each other.
23. Suggest now may be a good time to start potty training.
24. Run and hide when parent figure recommends nappy is taken off.
25. Repeat the above two steps.
26. Play the crazy Octopus game when the parents make you get into pyjamas.
27. Shout at your parents for forcing you into pyjamas.
28. Take off your pyjamas.
29. Repeat steps 26 – 28 untill you get bored.
30. Want at least two stories.
31. Ensure you pick the longer stories.
32. Demand toys for your bed, that “just happen to be down stairs”.
33. Change ends of the bed that you sleep on.
34. Want to hug each parent good night. Twice.

Is there any you could add?

Make Asthma medications exempt from NHS prescription charges.

Ok. I realise the internet is filled with requests to sign petitions, but I’m going to make a crack at saying why I’m asking you to sign one, asking for Asthma medications exempt from NHS prescription charges.

You know how you get ill, go to the doctors and get a prescription? You know how you take that prescription to the chemist, pay some money, take drugs home, use drugs and then get better. (In theory)

When you have asthma, its not unexpected to need multiple prescriptions, for multiple drugs, that you need to keep taking. This is to avoid the feeling of your chest becoming tighter, and struggling that little bit more for breath at times.

With that in mind, do me a favour, and sign this petition.

Thanks

The petition at 38 degrees.