Imagine the situation: Your toddler leaves the Living Room heading towards the kitchen, making “I want food noises”.
Question: How long do you wait until you go after the toddler?
A) Nice and Quick!
B) Do you wait, finish what you’re doing then go?
C) Hang on… See if you can identify any noises… then RUN!
D) Meh. You have locks on your cupboards you’re fine.
E) Meh… Let see what the toddler does.
If you’re settling for option E.
Ever felt that all the attention is on the mum? You know, she has the mum groups, the various classes, the extra time to actually understand the kid, and you have… work.
Well Babycentre have come up with 10 reasons why you also matter:
1. Who else, other than mum, will tuck her into bed at night, teach her how to ride a bike, fund her first holiday with friends and buy her first pint?
2. He’s got your genes. You are a part of his history, who he is, how he looks, right down to those big ears and awkward gait.
3. You matter to your partner, too. When you get stuck in from the start, breastfeeding is more successful and she is less likely to suffer from postnatal depression.
4. You’ll raise brainy kids. Children with involved fathers have better social skills when they reach nursery and do better in examinations at 16.
5. Being a good dad keeps your child sane. Father-child closeness is a crucial predictor of long-term mental health.
6. Successful professional women tend to have at least one thing in common: fathers who respect and encourage them.
7. Do well as a father and, when your child’s time comes, she’ll be a better mum.
8. You’ll keep him out of prison. Good fathering means your son is less likely to have a criminal record.
9. She’ll be happier later. Father involvement at age seven is correlated with your daughter’s contentment with love at 33.
10. Do you want your child to have higher self-esteem, be friendly and trust others? Your influence makes a difference.
Well it seems that someone has come across The Dads Sofa after doing a Google search for “am i ready to be a dad test”, so I figured I’ll actually write one. I guess the important question to answer on a “ready to be a dad test” really is simply:
“I’m I Ready to be a Dad?”
Answer: No you’re not.
I once heard that, Mums become a Mum when they become pregnant. Dads on the other hand really only become a Dad when they see their kid for the first time. Whilst I dont fully agree with that sentiment, I think it helps to illustrate my point that sometimes Dads just need to hold their little one for the first time to really feel like a Dad.
The thing is, if you’re looking for a test to see if you’re ready to be a dad, you’ve probably realized its a challenge, and by looking for validation on your dad credentials from Google, I would like to bet you may not feel 100% confident about it.
Which suggests to me that you are not an idiot and that you care.
And thats a damn good start.
This is a slightly edited version of an old post.
It’s been a few months now of smuggling the little one into Church, and pretending that she also knows when she to be quiet, when to make noise, etc…
After a while we figured we needed a selection of special tools to distract, entertain, and comfort her while ensuring her parents also get a chance to take part in the service.
So we’re proud to present, the “Take Your New Born / Baby to Church Survival Kit”:
- Muslin to cover up the fact your using a dummy.
- Energy drink – Because having coffee after the service is a little late.
- Note pad, and pen – useful for things such as funny drawings, paper plane material, and possibly sermon notes.
- Church Approved Toy. (Does not make noise, nor make other kids, or preacher jealous that he/she can’t play with said toy).
- Nappy bag – with enough nappies to last the length of the sermon.
- Milk bottles containing Ministry Approved Milk.
- Breakfast – because you were busy before the service making sure everyone else ate!
- Push Chair. So you can race other “drivers” around the church hall.
- Map containing directions to nearest exit – in case of sudden ‘exit’ issues…
- Children’s Bible – because we all need help understanding sermons sometimes.
- A note in your organiser letting you know that the service is starting 30 mins earlier… you’re never going to get there on time otherwise…
Any more that we’ve missed?
This is a slightly updated version of an old post.
Imagine the situation: The adults of the family are sat in the lounge, the toddler is out the room, and you hear a noise.
Question: What Is the noise?
A) The bin being turned inside out.
B) The Fridge being emptied.
C) Toys being thrown downstairs.
D) The dishwasher being filled with your phone.
E) Your secret chocolate stash being found!
F) All of the above, at the same time, with various options being repeated in a random basis.
If you’ve heard a noise recently, and you’re not sure where your little person is… Good luck.
Ever had the feeling there’s a Dad Book?
You know, some thing that says how to build the best train tracks, always be able to play catch, and contain the secret to getting home from work on time?
Obviously, this book needs an answer to every “Why” question a child could possibly ask.
It seems that Calvins Dad has this Dad Book!
(This is an updated version of a blog post from an old blog.)
There seems to be a question that every parent to be hsa to face at one point…
Should we use a Dummy?
In the words of the Good Lady Wife on Facebook:
It’s amazing how great plans for parenthood can go out of the window once you are a parent! I always said I’d avoid using a dummy, but at this moment in time I am so glad that I have one. Kate hasn’t had a solid chunk of sleep this afternoon, so she’s tired, and I’m tired & have backache from constantly carrying her around/holding her. She’s been changed LOTS, isn’t hungry but does keep yawning & dozing off for a few mins. A dummy in and she’s fallen asleep to the extent that she didn’t wake when I put her in the Moses basket! Silence is golden!
Heres the thing.
I’m not sure exactly when we made up our minds on this, it could have been just over the last few months, it might have even been way before the Good Lady Wife was even pregnant. But either way, at some point we had the chat. You know, the “chat” when you and your wife / girlfriend / boyfriend / husband / pet dog / parenting partner / whatever, sit down and talk “dummies”. Specifically, are you, or are you not going to have a dummy pushed into the face of your baby?
I’ll be blunt.
This isn’t something we researched, it was a quick conversation, and it was based on the image of toddlers having dummies pushed into their mouths whenever they tried to talk.
So. We said no. Not going to use a dummy.
If our child has something to scream about, we need to work out what it is, and there was also some comment about teeth growth as well…
So no. No dummies.
The first morning of our child’s life. At about 3 ish. There I am. Tired and putting one foot in font of the other. Walking away from my wife who’s just emerged from an operation, down the labor ward corridor to find my daughter in the Intensive Care section of Neonatal. My head is all over the place. In the last few hours I had said goodbye to my wife as staff got her ready for an operation, and I had seen an oxygen mask over my daughters face as she was rushed to Intensive Care.
While I was walking along, lost in my world of worry, I looked up and saw one of wonderful neonatal nurses who was looking after my daughter come the other way to find me.
She was smiling.
She explained to me that Kate was struggling to settle, and the she was coming up to ask if we minded them trying a dummy.
Having the two most important people in your life looked after by the beautiful staff of the NHS puts things into perspective.
For a moment I laughed, then I simply said: “yeah”.
It’s amazing how quickly a mind can change at 3 am.
My personal take on the whole discussion about if you should use a dummy or not; consider it as a tool in your parenting box of tricks.
If you’re after a serious list of facts about the use of dummies, I’d suggest checking out babycentre.co.uk